Congratulations to Eva Buttrell, our November Scholarship Winner
Question: You make a YouTube video with a million views. What is the video about?
This is me. From the outside you will see an average nineteen year old, brown hair and brown eyes, not great at sports but loves to be active, creative and finds joy in learning, but can’t sit still for long. I am studying to be a nurse, and passionate about sharing my voice through writing. But what made me, me – beyond what you see? If I had a video of mine go viral on YouTube, I want it to show what’s beyond my average self. I want to show my face, because this is me, but then I want to pan out to show the world I live in, because this is also part of me. And it happens to often involve IV poles, sweet nurses, and hospital rooms. My environment of the past couple years has impacted me in many unexpected ways from how to drop my own NG tube, to a changing my view of life in general. I have the desire to share these experiences and thoughts with others. Which is why I believe that if I had a YouTube video, it would be about showing people what it means to live with a chronic illness and constant hospital trips.
In 2014 I was diagnosed with a rare blood clotting disease and lupus. These are chronic illnesses that cause your immune system to malfunction and attack itself. In my case, my heart, lungs, intestines, and blood flow were all affected, resulting in about a dozen surgeries. During this time I learned so much about the medical world and how it works. I grew a desire to learn and have more control about the specifics of my care which resulted in a crash course in things like choosing IV locations, wound and ostomy care and how to give myself tube feedings.
These are definitely not your typical activities, but my video would show that these things are not as novel as they sound. I would encourage young people that they can be an active part of their medical care and not to be intimidated by their own body. Even if you are not in similar scenarios as me, people could be educated by what goes on with chronic or acute health situations. I could be an example that these things can be a part of life.
When I was in the hospital for months at a time people would often ask me how long it was until I got discharged, like that was the ultimate goal, to get back to a ‘normal’ life. The longer I stayed in the hospital the more I realized that this expectation and goal would only be a constant discouragement for people with chronic or terminal illnesses. It wasn’t about getting out, it was about enjoying and learning from where you are in that moment. I found that you can learn from and enjoy life just as much, if not more, while dealing with an illness.
My life does not go on hold while I am in a hospital. I’m living my life no matter where I am and my job is to learn form it. Now when people tell me how sorry they are for what I have gone through, I realize that I am not. I’ve learned that suffering is a part of life. Not a part that needs to be dealt with and fixed in order to go back to ‘normal’, but that it is life. In my video I would challenge people to take advantage of their life no matter their situation and become a better person because of it, not a perfect person, but a beautifully messy one.
I want my video to grab people’s attention and be a fun and encouraging reality check. Asking, if you get knocked down do you hastily try to brush yourself off, or do you try and learn from your new perspective on how to better move forward? Through my video I want to share my crazy experiences like learning how to push a tube down your nose and throat, and the process of simply finding a new love and appreciation for life. From my circumstances and experiences I have learned so much about who I want to be and I want to challenge others to do the same no matter what your situation is.
by Eva Buttrell
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