Overview
Wordiness errors obscure the writer’s message under unnecessary verbiage, such as redundant words or phrases, passive voice, weak “to be” verb forms, and unnecessary expressions. Close reading and editing can eliminate many of them before an essay is in final form.
Redundancy
Some types of wordiness include redundant words or phrases. In the sentence, “The balloons were red in color,” red is already a color. Simply state that the balloons were red. Similarly, the phrase “snow continued to keep on falling” could be more simply stated as “snow continued falling.” Something continued is also keeping on. “We left the park because of the rainy weather” could be recast as “We left the park because of the rain.”
Passive Voice
Compare a sentence such as “The boat was sailed by John” with “John sailed the boat.” The first sentence is in the passive voice, while the second sentence is in the active voice. In the passive voice, the one doing the action is obscured into a prepositional phrase. Both sentences describe the same activity, but the sentence in the active voice expresses direct action with fewer words.
Weak “To Be” Verbs
Compare sentences such as “The cost of the book is twenty dollars” with “The book costs twenty dollars.” Both sentences describe the same activity, but the first sentence uses a static form of the verb “to be”, while the second sentence replaces is with costs. Sentences using passive construction add a form of the verb “to be” as an auxiliary verb. During a final edit, check sentences for forms of the verb “to be” to make sure that they are not in the passive voice or hiding the action.
Unnecessary Phrases
Some sentences have phrases that add nothing to the meaning of the sentence. A sentence such as “it is a fact that some phrases can be excised from a sentence without changing its meaning” can be recast to “some phrases can be excised from a sentence without changing its meaning.” Other unnecessary phrases include “the reason why is that,” “in the truest sense of the word,” “in the event that,” “for the purpose of,” and “in the event that.”
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